Cheese Offense
Aggressive nacho cheese. It will get on your fingers, and it will stay there.
Aged cheddar · tomato · onion · chili
Aged cheddar, tomato, onion, garlic, and a chili edge, applied at a density that coats the fingertips within roughly four pieces. The Division measured the coating and classified it as excessive. The kitchen reviewed that finding and classified it as correct.
It is sharp, salty, tangy, and unmistakably cheese — the flavor people lick off their fingers in public and decline to apologize for. No apology is offered here either.
Pre-order
The first run was consumed faster than projected, a failure of forecasting the Division has decided to describe as "demand." The second run is in production. Reserve yours now with an email — no card, no charge today. We confirm before anyone pays, and pre-orders ship first.
- ▸ Quality control: rigorous. Flavor control: failed.
- ▸ Free shipping on orders over $40, applied when the run ships
- ▸ 4.5 oz per bag — a regulation sharing size, rarely shared
- ▸ Ships flat-rate anywhere in the US when the run is released
What you're tasting
- Aged cheddar, unmissable
- Tomato and onion underneath
- Garlic, doing quiet work
- A chili edge at the finish
Goes well with
- Sandwiches that have given up
- Anyone who licks their fingers in public
- Ranch Hand, for the full condiment-aisle experience
Other flavors
Ranch Hand
from $18
Buttermilk, dill, and garlic at levels the Division can only describe as deliberate.
Unlawful Heat
from $18
Smoked chile and garlic applied past the point of oversight. Flavor first. Heat immediately after.
Black Magic
from $18
Sweet, tangy, and hot, found operating together. The Division cannot explain why it works.